3 April 2015

19 Truthful Relationship Advice For Your Younger Selves

“When I was younger I dated a couple of guys that I knew weren’t good for me, but I wanted to ‘fix them’. Instead of accepting that maybe we weren’t compatible, I found myself always making excuses for the way they behaved, even when I knew they were wrong.”

If you could turn back time and give dating advice to your younger self, what would it be?

19 BuzzFeed employees answered that question with relationship tips that everybody can identify with.

Check out the entire series here.

“You’re going to tell yourself that yours is a unique position. That this is different than other affairs. It isn’t.”

“Stop falling for the same guy—both literally and metaphorically. If you couldn’t make it work the first time, there is a GOOD REASON for it. Also, as a side note, the only person who needs to be feeling your look is you; you do not need to spend any time worrying about the opinions of your soggy ass ex-boyfriends.”

“Opening up about difficult things and helping each other through them is a normal and necessary part of a healthy relationship. However, if someone immediately unloads all their baggage or tries to use their issues as a reason for you to stay with them, you will just end up in a loveless, suffocating relationship. Those types of people will seldom be there for when you need them and will probably blame you for everything in the end anyway.”

OK, so I sort of stole this from Oprah, but the advice is still solid. Don’t spend your life searching for the perfect person (if such a thing even exists). Work to make –yourself– the perfect person for you, and then ‘the right person will then be drawn to you based upon the work that you put out.’”

“I moved to Brazil to be with my ex, which I don’t regret at all. But what I did then that I wouldn’t do now is put up with the humongous chasm of ideological differences we had. From the beginning of our relationship, we argued about things like sexism and homophobia, and although there were lots of good things about it, in retrospect I can’t believe I put up with some of the garbage he used to say. Everybody is learning and growing all the time and that’s something that’s part of the journey, but you don’t have to date somebody whose core beliefs are offensive to your entire being. That’s bullshit and should not be tolerated.”

“Don’t worry about rushing to find a partner to ‘complete’ you. Discover how to make yourself feel whole intellectually, emotionally, and physically, first and foremost. Then, when you do meet someone, ask yourself, ‘Can this person bring me the same level of happiness that I bring myself?’”

“I went through the majority of my high school years being self-conscious and thinking I wasn’t really ‘worthy’ of a relationship. So because of that, I would never put myself out there.”

“It’s really important to learn how to acknowledge your feelings and be honest about what it is you really want. Once you figure that out, you also need to be honest with the person you’re dating or who you want to date. Prolonging this will only end up hurting everyone involved, including yourself.”

[via BuzzFeed]